Parody: Dr. Huberman vs Vibe Coding
... You know, unless that neural network was pre-trained on my EEG data during a 30-second cold plunge, I don’t trust a single semicolon ...
If Dr. Andrew Huberman Did “Vibe Coding”
Imagine Huberman insisting that before you write a single line of code, you must first spend 20 minutes “tuning into the quantum resonance” of your IDE, because obviously, the compiler only opens when your brainwaves hit exactly 7.36 Hz. He refuses to merge any branch until he’s balanced his chakras with a citronella-scented “neuro-diffusion ritual,” claiming that only then do your loops “vibe” correctly. And if your Git commit doesn’t sync with his morning cortisol peak, he’ll lecture you on how your code’s “energetic misalignment” is literally shrinking your frontal lobe.
If Dr. Andrew Huberman Hated “Vibe Coding”
Picture Huberman strolling into a coding dojo, only to be confronted with someone chanting, “Feel the code, man, just vibe it out.” He immediately whips out his stopwatch and decrees, “Unless you’re measuring your vagal tone at exactly 4.8 ms before every bracket, I’m not calling that a commit.” He then confiscates their incense sticks, replaces them with a cold-plunge timer set to 90 seconds, and mutters, “Sorry, but if your brainwave coherence isn’t calibrated to 6.7 Hz, your code is basically chaos.” By the end of the session, he’s penned a 37-page white paper explaining why “coding by feeling” literally erodes your dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, and he’s already scheduled a breathwork workshop to “reprogram” their Git instincts.
If Dr. Andrew Huberman Hated AI-Generated Code
Imagine Huberman peering over someone’s shoulder as they paste a block of AI-generated code into their editor. He furrows his brow and mutters, “You know, unless that neural network was pre-trained on my EEG data during a 30-second cold plunge, I don’t trust a single semicolon.” He then whips out his heart-rate monitor and insists that the AI’s “heart” be in sync with his measured vagal tone before any function gets executed. When asked why he’s deleting all the auto-generated lines, he replies, “Because code without intentional neuroplasticity triggers is just noise, who knows what spores of entropy that AI snuck in?” By the time he’s finished, he’s drafted a 42-point “Huberman Standard for Human-Authored Code,” complete with guidelines on cortisol-synchronized commit times, and refuses to merge anything until every pull request passes a breathwork calibration.